I Choose Birthdays

Today was not supposed to have been Holly’s birthday, it was way to early in my pregnancy for her to have survived outside the womb, and yet she had already been dead a couple of weeks. Yet, I will always think of the 16th of June as Holly’s birthday, to think of it as anything else is too painful. I even had to look up the date that Kyle died because I couldn’t remember when that was, but I remember his birthday.

Birthday’s are supposed to be happy times,
so I choose to remember birthdays.


A friend shared this song with me earlier this week and immediately I planned to share it today.


Gone Too Soon by Daughtry
Today could have been the day,
That you blow out your candles,
Make a wish as you close your eyes.
Today could have been the day,
Everybody was laughing,
Instead I just sit here and cry,
Who would you be?
What would you look like,
When you looked at me for the very first time?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.
Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.
Would you have been president
Or a painter, an author, who sang like your mother?
One thing is evident,
Would've given all I had,
Would've loved you like no other.
Who would you be,
What would you look like,
Would you have my smile and her eyes?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.
Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.
Not a day goes by,
Oh
I'm always asking why.
Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a beautiful light we never knew,
Gone too soon,
You were gone too soon
Yeah.Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you.

I don’t dwell on these questions, because I understand the plan of salvation, I know that my babies are safe, and are busy doing the work that they need to do in Heaven, and that they will have a chance to again inhabit their mortal bodies and grow up, and attain the Celestial Kingdom.

I am the one that has the more difficult task, my entrance into the Celestial Kingdom is not guaranteed. I need to do my part hear on earth to more diligently fulfill my earthly role, to become the best wife and mother I can be, to study the scriptures, to gain the knowledge and experience that I need to be prepared to be with my loved ones again, to be able to raise their earthly bodies, and to be with them forever.

Happy Birthday, Holly! I love you, and miss you. I planted flowers in containers on the front porch today in your honor. You will always be in my heart, and part of my family.