30 October 2011

No Matter What

2011-06-23 Love Begins-small_thumb[3]

The words on the page are the lyrics to “No Matter What” by Kerrie Roberts.

As I watched this video I felt like the girl could be me.I’ve felt those feelings, acted that way, and then had to open the door, and my heart, and walk down the stairs to be with my kids, when really, what I felt like inside was throwing myself back on my bed trying to sink into oblivion.

I didn’t want to bottle up my pain, because I know that I NEEDED to feel the pain to be able to heal, but I also could TRUST Heavenly Father and know that “No MATTER WHAT” he was there for me.

I made this scrapbook page and discovered this song shortly after Holly’s funeral, and it has been hanging up in my kitchen where I glance at it daily. Today I took the time to read the words again and allow myself to briefly feel the pain again that I felt at the time of her funeral. At that time I was barely holding on the the promises.

As time has passed the pain has lessened. I still hold onto the promises but I am functioning well in daily life and no longer have the intense need to curl up in ball, although at times it would be nice. It is nice to have a visual reminder of where I have been and how far I’ve come in the past couple of months.

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