10 June 2012

False Alarm

I was feeling pretty miserable at church this morning. I couldn't even bring myself to go into the chapel. Instead I sat in the foyer and tried not to fall asleep. The only reason I was still at church the 3rd hour was to listen to Isaac give a talk in primary.

When I looked in the mirror I thought, "I LOOK LIKE CRAP! AND I FEEL LIKE IT TOO."  Yesterday was the first time i had admitted to myself and others that I was done. I am tired of being pregnant, and i am sore and huge and "great with child" as my friend so nicely put it today.

All of my other pregnancies I have been PROUD (but hopefully not prideful) of the fact that I felt good, had no morning sickness, and wasn't bothered by going 10 days late. I liked being pregnant.

This pregnancy in many ways has been so much harder than any other pregnancy I have experienced. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

My body is getting worn out, i have to admit I feel 15 years older than I did when I was so excited with every new day of being pregnant and could wait until i would have a cute baby bump so everyone would know that I was pregnant. At the time i thought pregnancy was so easy . . . And so exciting. Now I qualify for extra tests, just because I am over 35 years of age. Now i feel like I'm ready to be done. Its not just excitement of seeing the baby it is not being pregnant anymore that i am looking forward too. I am learning how to empathize with the women who have hard pregnancies, and I'm glad that I made it to the final 3 weeks before I got to this point of doneness.

Oh yea, about the false alarm and the picture. We got the crib set up on Friday and little mommy MaryAnn has taken over. Her babies need a place to sleep and their diapers changed and to drink from Mommy's water bottle. I am not sure where my baby is going to get to sleep. (Hint-maybe someone, like Grandpa Keith, could make her a bed for her babies - Please?)

I realized when i came home from church and couldn't sleep that i was having contractions. They weren't painful, but they were frequent. After telling Brad all my worries about not being ready for the baby he carried in 3 buckets of baby clothes and cloth diapers for me to sort out and he found the baby car seat washed it up. We now have a huge pile of laundry to do but mowing that if we were going to have a  baby today at least the girls could finish getting ready for the babies homecoming, made me feel better.

The DR told me on Thursday that if i was in active labor they would go ahead and do the c-section and the baby wouldn't even be considered preterm now.

We went to the hospital and sure enough i was having contractions abt every 2 minutes but i wasn't progressing at all, so they sent me home. I was miserable coming home and had a headache but after i had a snack, 2 Tylenol, and dinner i finally felt decent again about 9 o'clock. I felt my best of the whole day about 10ish, so i decided to document my day.

Now I am tired enough that I can go to sleep, I hope, and see what tomorrow brings.

I'm still having these wimpy little contractions.

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