I have a Little Brain too

It may have taken me years – but I am finally getting it. Books are important! I know, I’ve loved books for my entire life. I would often walk to the library several times a week to get new books while I was growing up, and one summer I kept track and read over a 100 books.

I’ve always enjoyed reading – but it has only been recently that I have finally learned to find important principles in books and apply them to my life – maybe it was the conveyor belt education where I taught to search for the answers to a long list of questions, or maybe it was just that I read books way to fast, just for pure enjoyment, and to find out what happens, instead of reading for deeper understanding, and maybe it is because I am reading as a Mom, and looking for ideas and concepts for my children to absorb through listening that I am noticing so many amazing ideas in books.

Now that I have begun to see principles in books it makes reading take a lot longer, because I am pausing to go – aha!, ooh, that is good, and wow, I want to write about that. So here goes . . .

I am reading “Me and My Little Brain” by John Fitzgerald to my boys. John and his Papa are having a discussion about Johns abilities:

“How do you know what you can do best?” I[John] asked.

“A great burning desire to become something is a good indication a person has the ability for it, “ Papa said. “A man who has this desire to become . . . almost always achieves his goal. And it is this gift of birth that divides people into all the vocation that are needed for mankind to survive. But there are some people who stifle this desire to be something they can be. They are motivated by admiration or envy to try to be something else. For example, J.D.[John], you were motivated by admiration for Alex Kramer to become a trader, although you lacked the ability to be a successful trader. As a result you failed.

. . .

Find your own identity and say to yourself, this is me, and I can’t be anybody but me. Know thyself and be thyself. That is the key to a happy and well-adjusted life.” (Me and My Little Brain, John Fitzgerald, pg 36)

Papa explains so well what I have been trying to teach my kids about the concept of “mission”. The philosophy of education that I subscribe to is called Thomas Jefferson Education (TJED), or Leadership Education. A very vital and key component of TJED is that everyone has a personal mission in life, and the purpose  of their education is being prepared to fulfill that mission. Inherently, I know that this is taught in my religion as well, I’m just not sure how. The exciting thing is that as I’m coming to understand the principles contained in TJED I am seeing them pop up books, in movies, in my scriptures, in life. I know that they were there all along, I just didn’t know how to recognize them.

It might have taken my little brain a long time to catch on(+ or – a hundred years), but know I am becoming . . . , I am searching my my identity (you, not them), I am learning to be happy(secure, not stressed), and I am striving to mentor my children, to help them to discover and prepare for their mission.

I want them to be who they were born to be.

Like Papa says, I want them to “Know thyself and be thyself.”

For even those of us with “little brains” deserve to be happy.

 

******************************************

Isaac is taking a Human Anatomy class at TEACH Co-op this semester. The story goes that during lunch he was walking around with his paper brain hat on, and someone said to him, “I didn’t know you had one of those.”

Payback or Pay it Forward

Last week I was finally able to pay back some debts that I owed. These weren’t financial debts, these were debts of service. In the last few years we have had a lot of rough spots. Time when I, as the Mom, especially, was really struggling to be able to do the things that Mom’s do, like clean the kitchen, make the meals, do the shopping, etc.

We have been very blessed to belong to a church that believes in reaching out and serving each other. Many time members of the Relief Society have brought us meals in our times of need, after the birth of babies, surgeries, etc. Several times they have also come and helped to clean the kitchen and vacuum the floors.

I remember one time especially helpful, physically I was well, however, I was fighting depression and mentally and spiritually was not in a very good place. One dear sister came over and helped me to clean my house. We worked as we visited, and she listened to me as I told her about Holly’s birth, and showed her pictures. I felt so blessed to have someone that would listen to me, and work with me, and the time she spent helped me out not only that time but other days as well as I remembered the love she shared with me.

I have so long been the one in need, and after Lydia’s birth I felt like it took me forever to recover. I know 6 weeks isn’t forever, but some days it sure felt like it. Again, I was so blessed to have wonderful daughters who are entirely capable of cooking, cleaning, and with a ride to the store, shopping. Also, the Relief Society stepped in again and meals were brought, along with cute outfits for Lydia, and my visiting teachers helped out by driving the girls and my grandma to the grocery store. It was a wonderful blessing, but still, I wanted to be able to give back.

Finally, I got my chance. Last week not only was I able to make a meal for a family in our ward, but I was also able to drive my friend to the doctors office. These were little things, and I was happy to do them.

However, when I read on facebook that another friend was having a rough week and feeling overwhelmed it was so exciting that I knew what I could do. The next day I loaded up my kids and we went made a surprise visit. I put Lydia in my moby wrap, rounded up a few of her kids, and with my kids we cleaned her kitchen. Emily said, as we were working, “It’s more fun to clean someone else’s kitchen.” That is what made me realize how wonderful being able to serve others makes you feel! I was able to payback -  by paying it forward -  some of the service that I had received by reaching out and serving others. And it felt wonderful!

*******************************

I am so glad that I was able to take my kids with me, that they were excited and willing to serve. We should incorporate this pay it forward concept into our lives more often.

Look Who’s Popped Out!

 

Obviously I haven’t used my laptop to write a blog post in a long time, I opened the program tonight and found this blog post that I wrote a long time ago ( I’m guessing about a week after Lydia was born) and never posted. But it is so cute – that I can’t not post it!  2 Sept 2012

****************************************************************

Our little Lydia arrived as scheduled by a planned C-Section. It was very different experience to have everything go according to a schedule . . .  and to happen so quickly. We arrived at the hospital at 6am, and at 8:12am we had a baby!

Brad and Lydia headed off to the recovery room while the doctors were still working on stitching me back up. By the time I got to the recovery room my Mom was there with Brad and Lydia and they had already sent out emails and text messages to the family!

It was Rebecca’s job to post the news on facebook and email my friends that are not on facebook. It seems like I read this facebook post on Facebook while I was still in the recovery room.

MaryAnn has been looking forward to “my baby sister” for quite awhile. When she got to the hospital she sat down with Rebecca and held Lydia, and told me, “My baby sister popped our of your tummy!” It was so adorable, made me laugh, and was basically true, how else do you explain a c-section to a 4 year old, and she figured it out all by herself.

Lydia Darleen Georgeson - 28 June 2012 - 10lbs - 21.5 inches

We are recovering well, and catching up on our sleep. The other kids are amazing at taking care of the house, and we have wonderful friends and church members who have been bringing in meals help out. We are truly blessed.

Zucchini and the Book of Mormon

Did you know that there was Zucchini in the Book of Mormon? Well, neither did I, until Isaac told us that his primary class has been giving nicknames to the Book of Mormon characters, and Zucchini was the nickname for Zerahemnah. (Reminded me of Veggie Tales, but they don’t have any Book of Mormon videos).

During my recovery period after Lydia was born I had a lot of free time just sitting around, so I finally made a Pinterest account. It was a lot of fun, and I found a lot of neat ideas, but the ones that I like the most and have implemented in our home are the Scripture Journals. Do a google search and you will find lots of ideas, or check out my Devotional Board, my favorite source of inspiration is The Red Headed Hostess, but I really figured out how to do it with my kids from this post on Latter-Day Homeschooling.

We have doing our scripture journals for about a week now, and we are really enjoying them. We spend more time talking about the stories and the doctrine, trying to understand what is going on. The discussion is really good for the older kids, they get the scriptures so well, and want to dig deeper, but the younger kids were always goofing off, so now I am trying to work with the younger kids to draw pictures or write words to keep them interested in quieter. (This part doesn’t always work as well as I had hoped.)

Now back to Zucchini. I am not an artist, but that isn’t the point, the point is to try and convey something about the scriptures that will help us to remember the story or the doctrine. We were reading about Zerahemnah, and I remembered that Isaac called him Zucchini, so I drew this picture in his book for him, and then like a game of pictionary he had to figure out what it was.

It took several kids to figure it out, but once they decided it looked like a fruit, and not a banana, they got it. Isaac busted up laughing at my drawing. I’ll interpret the picture for you now.

Zucchini (Zerahemnah) refused to make an oath of peace, then he was scalped. For more information check out this wiki article or Alma 44.

 

Inspire, not Require!

I don’t require my kids to write in their scripture journals, and the first couple of days Isaac barely even opened his up, but he has been starting to add stickers and copy the pictures off of the stickers a little bit the past few days. Today, he produced this!

I think his artwork is much improved over mine. I didn’t even think about putting a face on my zucchini. I have a feeling he is going to remember the story of Zarahemnah for a very long time.

************************************************************************

I was going to write this last night, but I went to bed instead. I took a nap today, so I decided to write this tonight, I realize that the article isn’t up to my usual, my writing style doesn’t seem to flow tonight. I really miss writing though, so I’m just going to plug on and hope that as I practice again my writing will again flow and improve and inspire.

Good Bye Ally–Hello Ice Cream!

White Chocolate Ice Cream with Raspberries and Dark Chocolate Flakes

We had a goodbye party for Allyaska and Tyler at Subzero Ice Cream. I had never heard of this ice cream shop before and it was really “cool”. There must have been at least a million possible flavors of ice cream, since you got to make a lot of choices, from what kind of dairy product, to ice cream flavor, and mix ins! Those choices seemed endless. Dad had it easy, he noticed they had a Employee Favorite of German Chocolate Ice Cream. Kevin and MaryAnn just wanted gummy bears!

Doesn’t this ice cream look amazing!
It was so delicious.

Kevin said we had to get a picture with Uncle Tyler!

I only took Kevin and MaryAnn, the older kids were playing volleyball at the park with their friends. It is a good thing, the store wasn’t that big and we had a large group with us!
We were trying to get everyone to stick out their tongues – look even Grandma stuck out her tongue!
They were having so much fun together! Kevin, Ally, and MaryAnn have so much fun together. We had a great time while Ally was with us – we love you Ally!


Imagine, even Aunt Malinda sticks out her tongue!



Should I – or shouldn’t I.
Alright – here is a picture of me – apx 36 hours before Lydia was born! I look happy, and as long as I didn’t move I felt ok, but moving was miserable and I was so ready to have a baby in my arms, not in my tummy!

The Inner Vessel

 

Do ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Behold I say  unto you, Nay. Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also. Alma 60:23

Captain Moroni was not a whiner and complainer. He was the leader of an army. HE was a man of God. Of him it was said:

If all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men. Alma 48:17

He was not afraid to stand up for what he believed to be true – even if it meant he needed to issue a complaint. In Alma chapter 60 we read Moroni’s epistle to Pahoran, which begins, “I have somewhat to say unto them [Pahoran and other leaders]  by the way of condemnation” and then he goes on to explain the ways that he feels the armies have been mistreated and neglected. Then in verse 6 he politely says, “we desire to know the cause of this exceedingly great neglect; yea we desire to know the cause of your thoughtless states.”

What a great example of tact and diplomacy. Obviously, he is not afraid to defend himself, but he is kind and considerate in his manner of making his complaint known and trying to understand the situation at hand.

Throughout the whole chapter he eloquently alternates between making his case of the difficult war situation and reminding the leaders of their need to support the army in their fight for freedom in a most diplomatic manner. Verse 10 reads “And now, my beloved brethren-for ye ought to be beloved; yea, and ye ought to have stirred yourselves more diligently for the welfare and the freedom of this people.”

As I read this chapter in the context of my past year and trying to decide how to move forward with the next phase of my progression this concept of standing up for my beliefs and for freedom, through tact and diplomacy really made an impression on me. I realized I don’t have to let what others have done control my life, I can stand up to them, can explain the wrongs, can forgive, and be healed, no matter what their response.

“I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also.” (verse 23) Moroni is in a war, he is fighting for freedom, and he threatens to fight the government if need be to get their support for the war. He is concerned that the government has been corrupted, and as a true freedom fighter he is willing do go to battle with the government.

Unlike Moroni I can then move on, and begin working towards something better. The inner vessel that I need to clean is myself, and I can see that as I have made progression forgiveness and inner cleansing, I am also make progress in cleansing the outer vessel, my home and my relationships. It has been a marvelous change.

The next chapter contains Pahoran’s reply, and I can also learn much from him. “And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice i n the greatness of your heart.  . . . My soul standeth fast in that liberty in the which God hath made us free.” Pahoran was a great man, he was open to listen to the condemnation given until him and to learn from it, he took it as advice, given in love and kindness and used it to make a better informed decision about the course of the war.

Like Pahoran I have received advice and learned lessons from many different resources, through reading scriptures, from leaders, from movies, from personal trials and sometimes the feelings that come pierce to the soul. They hurt. Personal growth is not easy. There is pain involved in learning, just as in fighting for freedom. The freedom I fight for is from the natural man, but like Pahoran I want to be steadfast in liberty and learn more about and from God, and then eventually be prepared to help in the great battle for Freedom that we all must fight together, but first I must clean the inner vessel of myself, then I can work to prepare my family and my community to fight the good fight for freedom.

A Cry for Help

I wrote this last November, but the pain and the emotions were still to raw for me to post it. In light of my article on Forgiveness I decided that it was time to post this article as well. I am posting a lot of these articles to help others to understand that they are not alone in their grief, that others are suffering, and also to help those who support those that are suffering to understand what their loved ones may be going through.

I have rewritten this article to maintain anonymity of the people involved.

*************************************************

Walking down the hallway at church is a lot like walking in a mine field. I have no idea what I am going to run into. I try to stay focused on my kids and my tasks. I realize that everyone else has their own trials and really isn't interested in mine, or I’m not interested in sharing in such a public place and so I keep to myself. When I have time ... which isn't much, I am working on forgiving those that have hurt me, dealing with my grief, reaching out to others on my terms, and trying to heal.

I planned on being in my primary in class today. Usually If I need to go home I would have let someone know. I taught class last week, all by myself, so I had not reason to think that this week would be so hard.  . . . I don't even remember exactly what happened, but I became very emotional and escaped out to the van where I cried for a long time. When I finally pulled myself back together and came in to go to the bathroom and freshen up I was greeted by an open door to our classroom and all our sunbeams kids looking at me.

I did my best to go to class but the kids were very restless and I was in no condition to be patient with them. I was very frustrated. They have no idea why their teacher has been a mess for months. They never knew I was pregnant, and I never felt like it was appropriate for me to explain to them about death and grief and stillbirth. They are so young, and it wasn’t my place.  It hasn't been fair to them to have to put up with me.

I never know . . . It isn't like I plan to be upset. Something that doesn't affect me one day will really upset me another day. My hour in the car crying was actually really healing for me. I just have to take things one day or hour or minute at a time

Part of the reason church is so hard is because there are so many people  . . . deciding over and over what to say when asked "how are you ?" is so hard. Should I give the truthful answer, "I'm having a really rough time right now. My body aches all over, I'm not sure why. I'm still grieving the loss of my baby, she was due 2 weeks ago, and I'm pregnant again and I'm terrified that I will lose this baby as well. Other than that, we are all fed and dressed and at church today. How about you? Oh sorry was that to much information?

The other alternative is to lie and say "fine" when really although I may look put together and fine, I'M HURTING INSIDE and would really like someone to notice. 

I don’t know if it was bravery, or anger, or just plain stupidity, but I opened up a little bit, and tried to let someone know about my hour crying in the car. It was a cry for help, love, and understanding. I thought the person I talked to would understood that I am still having a hard time. Instead I ended up hurting her feelings, and then turning and walking away because I didn't want to become a crying mess in the hallway again. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, I just wanted to be loved and understood.

Later I figured out what it was that upset me today, and it was such an innocent little occurrence. I saw a mother, with her brand new baby, a baby that was due the same week as Holly, who would have grown up and been in Holly's nursery class, been baptized the same month as Holly, and passed all the other milestones of life with Holly. Her arms and heart were full, and mine were empty and the tears came quick and I had to escape. I know as time passes I will be able to look at that little boy, or other little boys and girls that would have been Holly's friends and find joy in thinking of them, but today the pain was to raw, the emotions to great, the healing still to be done.

************************************************************

My husband informed me later that I had really upset my friend, and I have let that become a wedge between us, so much that we have only talked “church business” since then. I am now letting go of that pain, I am forgiving her for not recognizing my cry for help, and I am asking her to forgive me for hurting her feelings. I hope that we can now rebuild our relationship.